"I wouldn't have coped well with it." With his secrets being laid bare. He's still not really coping with it, but the choice has been removed and all he can do is live with it now. He can't even bring it up to ask Beverly if she knows, if she's heard about it.

He can feel the spike of adrenaline from the anxiety and it sits there, useless, as years of training and genetic improvement deny him the ability to react to it. "It sounds fairly nightmarish, to be honest. I've been possessed before and that was... singularly horrific. At least I got to keep my own thoughts then."